Results don’t necessarily make you well

Does winning make us well? I asked myself this question after hearing mental health expert Dr. John Delony share, “Winning doesn’t make you well,” at a recent leadership conference. This struck me, as one of my personal core values is,“I Am a Competitor.” Being a former athlete and coach, I wrestled with this statement, as I love to compete and enjoy the reward of winning. But the question of “Does winning make you well?” still lingered. 

It took me back to a time in my life, when on the outside, I had what others would say was a successful career, producing a six-figure income with an “executive” title attached to me. However, while it wasn’t visible to those on the outside, the most important relationships in my life were just surviving. 

My marriage was suffering, as Deb and I were no longer best friends. The relationship with my three sons also lacked relational depth as it lacked authenticity. In summary, I was not “well!” This state also contributed to health conditions such as high cholesterol and insomnia. For me, these relational voids were also connected to my spiritual walk, which became unintentional. Although I had a beautiful house and a thriving career, I certainly was not well. 

While that was 20 years ago, I can say today that I no longer have those health issues, Deb and I experience a robust marriage and I have authentic relationships with my three sons and their brides, which included the honor of being asked to officiate their wedding ceremonies. What changed? I began my journey of inner leadership. A journey of having integrity to leadership principles, my faith and those values I previously espoused to others, to myself first. 

How well are you? Like me, have you misplaced your trust on “Winning will make you well?” Take some time by reflecting, and even giving yourself a score on a 1 to 10 scale of how content you are with your health, friends, relationships, recreation, spirituality, career, finance and personal growth.